To Forgive or Not Forgive?

Have you experienced painful words that have cut to your very soul? Words from a family member may be ringing in your ears and mind like, “You’re a nobody. You will never amount to anything. You’re just like your …” Maybe, you have been betrayed, abused, or neglected. The hurt is real.

Researchers have discovered that holding onto a grudge or unforgiveness in one’s mind puts strains on the body similar to that of a major stressful event. Unforgiveness is detrimental to your psychological, physical, and spiritual health. Symptoms experienced may include sleeplessness, lack of energy, headaches, joint pain, or back pain. It may also be the root cause of depression, anxiety, or an inability to establish healthy relationships.

Numerous studies have been conducted on the health benefits and positive effects of forgiving those who have caused us harm. According to more than fifty-five studies, forgiving others leads to reduced stress, better heart health, stronger relationships, reduced pain, and greater happiness. Additionally, researchers at Stanford University discovered that people who forgave others experienced a 24% increase in work productivity and a 23% decrease in symptoms of stress.

Unforgiveness is the refusal to let go of an offense. The transgression committed has been so egregious that anger, bitterness, hatred, hostility, fear, and stress eat away at the soul. Engaging in forgiveness is an act and a process and is not to be confused with thinking that the perpetrator is getting away with the offense or that the wrongs done to you were acceptable. Forgiveness sets you free to move on with your life and refuses to let the person who hurt you have any power over your life.

How we respond to hurt is our decision. Colossians 3:13 encourages us to “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

If the idea of forgiveness sounds impossible to you, please contact Hope Counseling Pittsburgh today for help so you can live your best life free of the negative effects of unforgiveness and past hurts.

Stay tuned for our future blog that will provide action steps to take in navigating the process of forgiveness.